So sorry everyone, I've had this post up on the wrong blog! Silly me!
I wasn't exactly sure what my world was when I woke up the next morning. I woke up the way I always do, in my bed, cozy, murmuring through the last of my dreams. I pulled myself reluctantly out of bed, and the day before slowly came back to me. I tried to put in order what had happened, telling Grey about my brother, going for a walk, holding his hand, resting on his shoulder.But it was too exhausting, and I climbed back into bed, falling asleep instantly.
~~~~
I walked down to Grey's a few hours later. I stood on the porch, staring at the door knocker. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do. It was a green door, obviously painted within the last few months. The knocker was a simple gold coloured, a small peephole above it. I stared intensely. I jumped suddenly as the door flew open. Mrs. Fortin shrieked a small shriek, then regained her posture and smiled.
"Would you like to come in?"
"Yes please." I awkwardly stepped inside, Mrs. Fortin inspecting me curiously as I passed. A large, round man was reading a tremendously thick book at the table. He looked up as I came in, removed his glasses. He was in his fifties I guessed, sparse hair a pepper grey. He smiled and stood up.
"Edward Fortin," he extended a hand, which I shook, giving him my name. He smiled again, a nice, cozy warm smile.
"Is Grey here?"
"Yeppers," Grey responded, coming around from the hall. "So you've met my dad." He smiled. "Let me grab my jacket and we can take a walk," Grey grinned encouragingly.
Outside, Grey told me that his Dad had been away for business, he sold some type of insurance package. I slipped my hand into Grey's, a subtle relief washing over me. He squeezed my hand, and I suddenly started talking stupidly, babbling really.
"That'scoolabnoutyourdad,doyouevergowithhim,causetravelingisgreat,Ilovetraveling,butwerarelyeverdo.IwantagotoAfrica,thatsoundssocool. What do you think?"Grey seemed to ponder the question, which had come quite out of the blue, my mouth running like a skittish horse that's been shot in the backside with a dart.
"Let's make this official. Alice, will you go out with me?"
"Well. That's a question I've been wondering about," I smiled down at my coat, trying not to show that I had never been asked out by someone I actually fancied. "More out of the blue than my question I guess."
Friday, January 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Chapter After the Last One
I felt drained, empty, like the substance that had been filling me up was now gone, and a hundred other things were rushing to take that space. I slipped Mohawk back into his cage, hoping that Grey wouldn't notice my hands quivering.
"Eff it," I whispered quietly to myself, realizing how much I was trying to control what he could already see. My hands shook and my feet danced restlessly, I couldn't get the lid to Mohawk's cage back on, tears were beginning to form and I was constantly sucking blood from an aching lip.
Grey stood up, gently moved my hands and did the latch on the cage. He handed me a tissue from my desk, which I took gratefully, first wiping my tears then my lip. Small patches of red appeared on the tissue. I sucked my lip, salty blood mixing with saliva.
"Alice? Alice, let's go out. Take a walk."
"Okay," I didn't have the energy to resist. He took my hand, squeezed it for a minute. "If you go tell your mum that we're going for a walk, I'll go out the window and ring the bell. I don't want her to be suspicious about me being in the house after she just sent me away."
I nodded, sniffled. My mother was surprised to see me, awkward, not quite sure what to say. I didn't want to talk about what had happened, I wasn't ready, not yet. She let me go out, with promises to be back within the hour. The doorbell rang.
~~~~~~~~~~
We didn't speak. There was nothing left to be said. I held his hand, and that was comforting. A sudden and vicious wave of exhaustion had hit me. His hand was warm, warm and gentle and strong, and I needed it, I needed it to stay up.
I paused by the entrance to the pond. I wondered sleepily if I wanted to enter, really wanted to go in. "They found a piece of his shirt here." It was the first word that either of us had uttered since leaving the house. He squeezed my hand. A large white sign hung on the gate.
"Eff it," I whispered quietly to myself, realizing how much I was trying to control what he could already see. My hands shook and my feet danced restlessly, I couldn't get the lid to Mohawk's cage back on, tears were beginning to form and I was constantly sucking blood from an aching lip.
Grey stood up, gently moved my hands and did the latch on the cage. He handed me a tissue from my desk, which I took gratefully, first wiping my tears then my lip. Small patches of red appeared on the tissue. I sucked my lip, salty blood mixing with saliva.
"Alice? Alice, let's go out. Take a walk."
"Okay," I didn't have the energy to resist. He took my hand, squeezed it for a minute. "If you go tell your mum that we're going for a walk, I'll go out the window and ring the bell. I don't want her to be suspicious about me being in the house after she just sent me away."
I nodded, sniffled. My mother was surprised to see me, awkward, not quite sure what to say. I didn't want to talk about what had happened, I wasn't ready, not yet. She let me go out, with promises to be back within the hour. The doorbell rang.
~~~~~~~~~~
We didn't speak. There was nothing left to be said. I held his hand, and that was comforting. A sudden and vicious wave of exhaustion had hit me. His hand was warm, warm and gentle and strong, and I needed it, I needed it to stay up.
I paused by the entrance to the pond. I wondered sleepily if I wanted to enter, really wanted to go in. "They found a piece of his shirt here." It was the first word that either of us had uttered since leaving the house. He squeezed my hand. A large white sign hung on the gate.
CLOSED FOR CONSTRUCTION
So they were redoing the pond. My senses were dulled, I didn't have the energy care. Tomorrow, I would. But not now. Beyond the wire fence the construction didn't seem to have really started, the benches had been pulled out and stacked, a small bulldozer parked in the corner. The pond though, and the trees and the bushed, had been left untouched for now.
Grey glanced over at me. He stuck a shoe into the fence, tested the wire's strength and hoisted himself up. "You coming?" I smiled, still licking tears that fell to my lips. The fence dug into my palms, but we were soon at the top, where we tumbled down back down on the other side.
Brushing ourselves off, he reached for my hand again.
I felt calmer now, softer almost, if one can feel soft. Sleepy, relaxed. I glanced up at the small tree, the tree where I had, five years ago, found a torn piece of cloth. I didn't know what they were going to do to this place, tear it down maybe. I wondered if the tree would stay. Grey led me to a large boulder near the edge of the pond. Resting on the boulder, I closed my eyes and leaned against his shoulder, the sounds, the sounds that were so alive, crickets and birds, small animals that rustled in the undergrowth, licking in and out of my brain. My lips were sore and chapped, but they no longer bled.
I peeked at the tree again as Grey wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Maybe, I thought, Grey's smell and the exhaustion from what I had finally done taking it's toll on me, maybe it's time for them to rebuild this pond. It needs some cleaning up. The last thing I saw before I fell asleep on his shoulder was Grey's faded red shirt, and I smiled.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Chapter Twenty Seven (sorta, I think)
He hoisted his arm up so that he was holding on by his armpits, bare feet most likely gripping the drain pipe. I know. I could get up and down that gutter pipe with my eyes closed.
"A hand please?" Grey grunted, shifting.
"Oh I'm sorry, what did you say?" I thought briefly of smiling innocently, but I didn't feel like smiling in any way, shape, or form, so I didn't.
"Help up. Please," he was going red.
"I really think that I have something in my ear. Let me go wash it out. One minute."
I chuckled bitterly, walked to the bathroom and back.
"Okay better. What did you want?" He was still struggling.
"Hell-" he grunted.
"You bad boy." I didn't say it with any enthusiasm.
He made the 'p' sound. "HELP!"
"Oh. Why didn't you just say so?" I hauled him in. He brushed himself off. "The door," I pointed, "is that way. I highly recommend that you use it."
He ignored me, kicking aside plates of stale pizza and bags of crisps that had spilled across the floor. He sat down on the bed and surveyed the room.
"Want to talk?" I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
"What do you think?"
"That you need to get your butt out of this room." I shot what I hoped was a piercing glance in his direction.
"Grey, I have stuff to do. I would love you to stay, but that's just not going to happen. Thanks for stopping by."
He didn't move. I wriggled my toes inside my socks, listening to the silence. It was quiet, and the quiet hung like a barrier between us. It reminded me of what I needed to do, what I had needed to do for the past five years, what he knew I needed to do.
"I should have told not to get on the bus. We had dentist appointments, and our parents were picking us up." I shifted. Grey waited.
"But he got on the bus, because I forgot to tell him not to. When we found out that he was on the bus, we drove to the bus stop. We met one of the kids on the way, he rode that bus," I paused, walked over to Mohawk's cage. I glanced at Grey. He was watching me.
Picking Mohawk up, I continued,"He told us that yes, he had seen Jimmy on the bus. The bus had just stopped at our stop. So we drove along the roads that Jimmy and I walked every day," I stroked Mohawk gently. He moved his bad leg awkwardly. Grey smiled encouraging. "My mum had this look on her face. It was as if someone had drawn wrinkles on her forehead. In ten minutes she looked ten years older. 'He's probably at home. Yes, he is.' She started arguing with herself. My dad was all business.
"He wasn't at home. He wasn't anywhere. An hour later, we called the police. An amber alert was sent out. The entire community flooded us with flowers and cards. They formed search parties."
I bit my lip. Mohawk sat contently in my palm. I examined his back as I continued, "But they didn't find him. They didn't even find a suspect. No one knew, no one does know, if he was taken or if he just wandered off and couldn't get back home. After a year we sorta gave up hope.
"My mum, she just stopped everything. She got a new wardrobe. No more flowy skirts, no colourful jewelry. Just business suits. She quit going to feminist meetings. She stopped cooking. She hired a maid to do that, so that she could spend all day cleaning. Don't ask."
"My dad, he just left, not as in got a new house, but he might have well of. He got promoted. He stopped playing pool in the basement. He didn't always come home for dinner. He still doesn't."
"This family didn't pull together. We just separated. I still remember lying on the floor in my room, and everything that I didn't want was in my head. The tears were pouring down my cheeks. And I knew, Grey, I knew that my mum was in her room, doing the exact same thing. But I couldn't go to her. I just couldn't." I glanced up at Grey. His head was down, staring at his hands, fidgeting in his lap.
He looked up at me. "What about you Alice? What happened to you?"
I smiled bitterly. "After a year, no one wanted to face it. No one has even now. Jimmy was dead. He couldn't still be alive." I bit my lip violently, my jaw quivering with strngth, gentle tears forming. My teeth broke the skin and small droplets of blood flowed into my mouth. I kissed Mohawk gently, swallowing the blood. "After that time in my room, I realized how pointless this was. I hated it. I friggin' hated going home every day and sobbing alone on the floor of my room. So I stopped. I just stopped. I kept my mouth shut. I stopped trying to tell my parents that I was sorry. I went quiet. I stopped believing in people. In life. I just gave up.
"But I still blamed myself. I still do."
"Why?" He brought his head up and waited.
"Because it was my fault. I should have told Jimmy not to go on the bus. I never did. If I had, he would still be here. But I didn't, and he's not. I killed him Grey, it was my fault."
There was a long pause. I watched thoughts running through his head. I held a proud face, but tears were streaming gently down my face. I rubbed Mohawk with the back of my thumb.
Grey looked up at me. I looked, gazed, stared into his eyes. I didn't know what he saw in mine, but I gave it to him. I let him see, I let him have whatever was there for him to take.
"I'm sorry," he said finally, looking back down at his hands. I looked back at Mohawk, ran my tongue along the cuts on my lip.
"I am too Grey. I am too."
"A hand please?" Grey grunted, shifting.
"Oh I'm sorry, what did you say?" I thought briefly of smiling innocently, but I didn't feel like smiling in any way, shape, or form, so I didn't.
"Help up. Please," he was going red.
"I really think that I have something in my ear. Let me go wash it out. One minute."
I chuckled bitterly, walked to the bathroom and back.
"Okay better. What did you want?" He was still struggling.
"Hell-" he grunted.
"You bad boy." I didn't say it with any enthusiasm.
He made the 'p' sound. "HELP!"
"Oh. Why didn't you just say so?" I hauled him in. He brushed himself off. "The door," I pointed, "is that way. I highly recommend that you use it."
He ignored me, kicking aside plates of stale pizza and bags of crisps that had spilled across the floor. He sat down on the bed and surveyed the room.
"Want to talk?" I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
"What do you think?"
"That you need to get your butt out of this room." I shot what I hoped was a piercing glance in his direction.
"Grey, I have stuff to do. I would love you to stay, but that's just not going to happen. Thanks for stopping by."
He didn't move. I wriggled my toes inside my socks, listening to the silence. It was quiet, and the quiet hung like a barrier between us. It reminded me of what I needed to do, what I had needed to do for the past five years, what he knew I needed to do.
"I should have told not to get on the bus. We had dentist appointments, and our parents were picking us up." I shifted. Grey waited.
"But he got on the bus, because I forgot to tell him not to. When we found out that he was on the bus, we drove to the bus stop. We met one of the kids on the way, he rode that bus," I paused, walked over to Mohawk's cage. I glanced at Grey. He was watching me.
Picking Mohawk up, I continued,"He told us that yes, he had seen Jimmy on the bus. The bus had just stopped at our stop. So we drove along the roads that Jimmy and I walked every day," I stroked Mohawk gently. He moved his bad leg awkwardly. Grey smiled encouraging. "My mum had this look on her face. It was as if someone had drawn wrinkles on her forehead. In ten minutes she looked ten years older. 'He's probably at home. Yes, he is.' She started arguing with herself. My dad was all business.
"He wasn't at home. He wasn't anywhere. An hour later, we called the police. An amber alert was sent out. The entire community flooded us with flowers and cards. They formed search parties."
I bit my lip. Mohawk sat contently in my palm. I examined his back as I continued, "But they didn't find him. They didn't even find a suspect. No one knew, no one does know, if he was taken or if he just wandered off and couldn't get back home. After a year we sorta gave up hope.
"My mum, she just stopped everything. She got a new wardrobe. No more flowy skirts, no colourful jewelry. Just business suits. She quit going to feminist meetings. She stopped cooking. She hired a maid to do that, so that she could spend all day cleaning. Don't ask."
"My dad, he just left, not as in got a new house, but he might have well of. He got promoted. He stopped playing pool in the basement. He didn't always come home for dinner. He still doesn't."
"This family didn't pull together. We just separated. I still remember lying on the floor in my room, and everything that I didn't want was in my head. The tears were pouring down my cheeks. And I knew, Grey, I knew that my mum was in her room, doing the exact same thing. But I couldn't go to her. I just couldn't." I glanced up at Grey. His head was down, staring at his hands, fidgeting in his lap.
He looked up at me. "What about you Alice? What happened to you?"
I smiled bitterly. "After a year, no one wanted to face it. No one has even now. Jimmy was dead. He couldn't still be alive." I bit my lip violently, my jaw quivering with strngth, gentle tears forming. My teeth broke the skin and small droplets of blood flowed into my mouth. I kissed Mohawk gently, swallowing the blood. "After that time in my room, I realized how pointless this was. I hated it. I friggin' hated going home every day and sobbing alone on the floor of my room. So I stopped. I just stopped. I kept my mouth shut. I stopped trying to tell my parents that I was sorry. I went quiet. I stopped believing in people. In life. I just gave up.
"But I still blamed myself. I still do."
"Why?" He brought his head up and waited.
"Because it was my fault. I should have told Jimmy not to go on the bus. I never did. If I had, he would still be here. But I didn't, and he's not. I killed him Grey, it was my fault."
There was a long pause. I watched thoughts running through his head. I held a proud face, but tears were streaming gently down my face. I rubbed Mohawk with the back of my thumb.
Grey looked up at me. I looked, gazed, stared into his eyes. I didn't know what he saw in mine, but I gave it to him. I let him see, I let him have whatever was there for him to take.
"I'm sorry," he said finally, looking back down at his hands. I looked back at Mohawk, ran my tongue along the cuts on my lip.
"I am too Grey. I am too."
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Chapter Twenty Six
I counted the dots on my ceiling. I connected them. When I had finished that, I made up stories for the dot creatures. And when I was done that, I stared at the ceiling some more.
There was a knock on the door.
"No!"
"Alice."
"I'm changing," I didn't move.
"Grey is here." My mother sounded anxious. I could imagine her on the other side of the door, leaning back, wondering what to do with her screwed up daughter. Well, she could do whatever she darn well pleased. I wasn't moving.
"Alice, please unlock the door and let Grey in." I didn't say anything. She sighed heavily and her footsteps sounded away from the door. I imagined her telling Grey how sorry she was, but Alice is feeling sick right now, why don't you come back another time thank-you-very-much. I felt a little sorry, but I got over it.
The ceiling was an off white cream colour. There were small little scratches and a few little dots. There was a mark from where I had thrown a sticky frog up there a few years back.
Pling.
I jumped and swiveled my head around. A face peered in at me from the window. I rolled my eyes angrily, getting up. I threw open the window.
"What'd you want Grey?"
There was a knock on the door.
"No!"
"Alice."
"I'm changing," I didn't move.
"Grey is here." My mother sounded anxious. I could imagine her on the other side of the door, leaning back, wondering what to do with her screwed up daughter. Well, she could do whatever she darn well pleased. I wasn't moving.
"Alice, please unlock the door and let Grey in." I didn't say anything. She sighed heavily and her footsteps sounded away from the door. I imagined her telling Grey how sorry she was, but Alice is feeling sick right now, why don't you come back another time thank-you-very-much. I felt a little sorry, but I got over it.
The ceiling was an off white cream colour. There were small little scratches and a few little dots. There was a mark from where I had thrown a sticky frog up there a few years back.
Pling.
I jumped and swiveled my head around. A face peered in at me from the window. I rolled my eyes angrily, getting up. I threw open the window.
"What'd you want Grey?"
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Summary for New Readers
Yeah, I know, there's a whole lot here, and chances are, you'd look at it all, say, "Oh I'll read it later," and never come back.
So here is a quick summary. Details are not included.
When Alice Hayes was ten, her brother, who was five, got off the school bus by himself. Alice had gotten a ride but forgotten to tell her brother Jimmy. After getting off the school bus, Jimmy never reached home.
No one knows what happened to him. However, five years later, Alice's life isn't all fun and games. Her father is always at work and her mother has grown tense and believes that each and every speck of the house should be spotless. Alice is sarcastic and cold, she would rather run away than stick around.
Alice and the new kid on the block rescue a frog off the middle of the street and help him get better. Alice however has recently discovered that she wants to be more than friends with the 'new kid' Grey, but she's still struggling with guilt over her brother.
Please read as much as the story as you can, because I assure you that it is a lot better than this summary!
Enjoy and please comment!
So here is a quick summary. Details are not included.
When Alice Hayes was ten, her brother, who was five, got off the school bus by himself. Alice had gotten a ride but forgotten to tell her brother Jimmy. After getting off the school bus, Jimmy never reached home.
No one knows what happened to him. However, five years later, Alice's life isn't all fun and games. Her father is always at work and her mother has grown tense and believes that each and every speck of the house should be spotless. Alice is sarcastic and cold, she would rather run away than stick around.
Alice and the new kid on the block rescue a frog off the middle of the street and help him get better. Alice however has recently discovered that she wants to be more than friends with the 'new kid' Grey, but she's still struggling with guilt over her brother.
Please read as much as the story as you can, because I assure you that it is a lot better than this summary!
Enjoy and please comment!
Friday, November 9, 2007
Chapter Twenty Seven (I think)
"Alice?" I jumped as I swung around a crowded corner, Grey's face inches from my own.
"Oh, Grey, sorry," I apologized, embarrassed, and dodged around him, merging into the throng of students pressing to get to class. The moment replayed itself in my head, a stupid collision, nothing that really mattered.
Yet I couldn't stop thinking about him. I wandered toward my class, my mind replaying the scene and replaying and replaying. It was working, my mind, pushing, asking for something.
"Really, just try to work through this stuff."
I could feel my heart thumping against the binder that I crushed against my chest.
"You don't even have to come in."
Thump, thump. Something was slipping. Is slipping. Was, is is is was is was
Where is he? Where is he? Mum? Why isn't he home?
Students pushed pass me, one after another.
Well it won't do the little thing any good sitting there like that"
Grey, Grey.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, next time I'll tell him, next time I'll wait for him. Please, where is he?
No, no, Grey, please, Grey.
Where is he? Where is he? Why isn't he here?
It's rising in my throat, it's too big, I can't control it, hot tears,
"Haha yeah, how about Kermit?"
start streaming, streaming down my face,
You keep it! No, no, it's his, he found it at the beach, it's his stone, it's not mine, no
I can't, I can't, Grey, Jimmy, Grey, Mohawk, my head, no, no, my head
no, take it, please take it, get it out of my pocket, I can't take it, I can't I can't because, because
it hurts, where are my legs they are on the floor, why am I on the floor why is everyone staring at me
BECAUSE I KILLED HIM
Where am I? Jimmy? Jimmy? We're taking the bus today, please sweetie, get on the bus with me, come on, the bell just rung, we need to catch the bus, help me up I need to get up and get the bus, please
"I sure turned that smile upside down."
My head hit the floor and my eyes slammed shut.
"Oh, Grey, sorry," I apologized, embarrassed, and dodged around him, merging into the throng of students pressing to get to class. The moment replayed itself in my head, a stupid collision, nothing that really mattered.
Yet I couldn't stop thinking about him. I wandered toward my class, my mind replaying the scene and replaying and replaying. It was working, my mind, pushing, asking for something.
"Really, just try to work through this stuff."
I could feel my heart thumping against the binder that I crushed against my chest.
"You don't even have to come in."
Thump, thump. Something was slipping. Is slipping. Was, is is is was is was
Where is he? Where is he? Mum? Why isn't he home?
Students pushed pass me, one after another.
Well it won't do the little thing any good sitting there like that"
Grey, Grey.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, next time I'll tell him, next time I'll wait for him. Please, where is he?
No, no, Grey, please, Grey.
Where is he? Where is he? Why isn't he here?
It's rising in my throat, it's too big, I can't control it, hot tears,
"Haha yeah, how about Kermit?"
start streaming, streaming down my face,
You keep it! No, no, it's his, he found it at the beach, it's his stone, it's not mine, no
I can't, I can't, Grey, Jimmy, Grey, Mohawk, my head, no, no, my head
no, take it, please take it, get it out of my pocket, I can't take it, I can't I can't because, because
it hurts, where are my legs they are on the floor, why am I on the floor why is everyone staring at me
BECAUSE I KILLED HIM
Where am I? Jimmy? Jimmy? We're taking the bus today, please sweetie, get on the bus with me, come on, the bell just rung, we need to catch the bus, help me up I need to get up and get the bus, please
"I sure turned that smile upside down."
My head hit the floor and my eyes slammed shut.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Chapter Twenty Four
"Would you bring me the sewing box in my cuboard please?" Mum asked from her sewing chair in the living room.
I agreed and slipped into her closet. It was a small closet, long, but wide enough just for her outfits to hang without brushing the door. I brushed past proper buisness suits, colourless flower prints. I stubbed my toe on something, gave a little yelp. Bending down, I picked up the sewing box. It was a dark wood, with a quilted pattern on the front. As I turned to leave, my hand ran against a silky texture.
The dress was far too small to fit my mother now, it was a teenager's dress. A cascade of deep red silk flowed to the floor. The top was bunched together, two beaded straps hung down over the dress, earthy brown beads and small shimmering silver ones that would grace the wearer's shoulders.
"Alice!" I snapped out of my thoughts as my mother's voice pierced the quiet. I dashed down the steps, handed her the sewing box at the bottom.
"Mum?" She looked up from the repair she was doing to a pair of black pants. "Who's dress is that in your closet? The red one?"
She smiled ruefully. "It was my prom dress."
I smiled back and rushed upstairs, thoughts of my mother, young, smiling, free of this burden, this pressure that held her shoulders tense, the red silk flowing down her legs, a handsome young man at her side.
Before I know it the dress was gently resting in my arms, and I was carrying it carefully up to my room on the third floor. I pulled off my jeans and t-shirt, undo a zip at the side of the gown. I hadn't brushed my hair for a few hours, it hung loose and slightly puffed around my shoulders. I stepped delicately into the dress, easing it around my body.
I thought quietly of Jimmy, a teenager, wearing a tux, greeting his girl. I straightened, maneuvered my arms into the beaded strap. My chest didn't quite fill out the front, but there was a gentle curve around my hips that the fabric subtly accented. The silk didn't shimmer, but it glowed where the light hit it.
My body slowly roatating, my thoughts wandered to Grey. I thought of his hair, his hands, his deep green eyes that looked straight into places I didn't know existed. It came like the fire that flares as a match is lit, I love him, I love him, and he is, and I am, and I want us to be together, I want feel those stong arms around me. Those full lips pressed against mine, and my body is aching, aching with this thing I didn't know exsisted.
I hugged myself. I wistfully slipped off the dress, touched the fabric lightly, changed back into my clothes. I wondered if Jimmy would have ever felt this way about a girl. And I realized, I understood, that Jimmy may or may not have felt like this if he were here, yet even though he isn't, I feel this way about Grey, and I love him, and I love him, and I love him.
I agreed and slipped into her closet. It was a small closet, long, but wide enough just for her outfits to hang without brushing the door. I brushed past proper buisness suits, colourless flower prints. I stubbed my toe on something, gave a little yelp. Bending down, I picked up the sewing box. It was a dark wood, with a quilted pattern on the front. As I turned to leave, my hand ran against a silky texture.
The dress was far too small to fit my mother now, it was a teenager's dress. A cascade of deep red silk flowed to the floor. The top was bunched together, two beaded straps hung down over the dress, earthy brown beads and small shimmering silver ones that would grace the wearer's shoulders.
"Alice!" I snapped out of my thoughts as my mother's voice pierced the quiet. I dashed down the steps, handed her the sewing box at the bottom.
"Mum?" She looked up from the repair she was doing to a pair of black pants. "Who's dress is that in your closet? The red one?"
She smiled ruefully. "It was my prom dress."
I smiled back and rushed upstairs, thoughts of my mother, young, smiling, free of this burden, this pressure that held her shoulders tense, the red silk flowing down her legs, a handsome young man at her side.
Before I know it the dress was gently resting in my arms, and I was carrying it carefully up to my room on the third floor. I pulled off my jeans and t-shirt, undo a zip at the side of the gown. I hadn't brushed my hair for a few hours, it hung loose and slightly puffed around my shoulders. I stepped delicately into the dress, easing it around my body.
I thought quietly of Jimmy, a teenager, wearing a tux, greeting his girl. I straightened, maneuvered my arms into the beaded strap. My chest didn't quite fill out the front, but there was a gentle curve around my hips that the fabric subtly accented. The silk didn't shimmer, but it glowed where the light hit it.
My body slowly roatating, my thoughts wandered to Grey. I thought of his hair, his hands, his deep green eyes that looked straight into places I didn't know existed. It came like the fire that flares as a match is lit, I love him, I love him, and he is, and I am, and I want us to be together, I want feel those stong arms around me. Those full lips pressed against mine, and my body is aching, aching with this thing I didn't know exsisted.
I hugged myself. I wistfully slipped off the dress, touched the fabric lightly, changed back into my clothes. I wondered if Jimmy would have ever felt this way about a girl. And I realized, I understood, that Jimmy may or may not have felt like this if he were here, yet even though he isn't, I feel this way about Grey, and I love him, and I love him, and I love him.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Whoops!
Just wanted to say a quick sorry that Chapter Twenty Two and Twenty Three are switched, that's my fault.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Chapter Twenty Two
Dr. Fortin smiled and slowly removed the cast. She ran a finger down Mohawk's back. I looked at our little frog and I thought of how I loved that little guy, the stripe down his back, the way he let us pet him.
Grey smiled at me. I ignored my blushing cheeks as Dr. Fortin handed me the frog. I kissed his head gently. The cold, slightly clammy flesh sent small goosebumps up my spine, but I kissed the frog anyway before raising my hands up to eye level.
"Hey hot shot! You got your cast off little one," I cooed.
Grey smiled at me. I ignored my blushing cheeks as Dr. Fortin handed me the frog. I kissed his head gently. The cold, slightly clammy flesh sent small goosebumps up my spine, but I kissed the frog anyway before raising my hands up to eye level.
"Hey hot shot! You got your cast off little one," I cooed.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Chapter Twenty Three
I smiled sweetly at Blair and my mother. "I won't go anywhere, I promise," I pleaded as I fingered the phone in my pocket. I needed to get out of here, even if it was just for a minute. These people were frustrating me, I needed, craved, another person to talk to, just for a minute.
"You be back in five minutes or else." My mother glared mildly at me.
I slipped out of the door and into the restrooms, locking myself into one of the stalls. I leaned up against the wall and dialed Grey's number. It rang once, twice. Pick up. Please, I willed into the phone, I need you. His answering machine asked me to please leave a message after the tone. I didn't.
I strode back into Blair's office. They both smiled at me. "So Alice, how does it make you feel when your father misses dinner or an event important to you?" I had a burning desire to ask how much this quiz was worth, but I bit my tongue.
~
When I looked around the classroom before presentations, I had to admit that our project was one of the best. The poster was colourful and bright, the well-taken photos of Mohawk adding a nice touch.
I smiled at Grey. He smiled back. Alice! I yelled at myself as my stomach flipped, this is Grey you're looking at. I commented weakly on how well our project had turned out, how hard we had worked on it.
Looking at the project, I thought fondly of Mohawk, the brown stripe down his back, the little spot on his face. I felt the clammy way his skin was when you kissed his back .
Ms. Ven looked up at Grey at I, "Your turn to present Miss Hayes and Mr. Fortin."
"You be back in five minutes or else." My mother glared mildly at me.
I slipped out of the door and into the restrooms, locking myself into one of the stalls. I leaned up against the wall and dialed Grey's number. It rang once, twice. Pick up. Please, I willed into the phone, I need you. His answering machine asked me to please leave a message after the tone. I didn't.
I strode back into Blair's office. They both smiled at me. "So Alice, how does it make you feel when your father misses dinner or an event important to you?" I had a burning desire to ask how much this quiz was worth, but I bit my tongue.
~
When I looked around the classroom before presentations, I had to admit that our project was one of the best. The poster was colourful and bright, the well-taken photos of Mohawk adding a nice touch.
I smiled at Grey. He smiled back. Alice! I yelled at myself as my stomach flipped, this is Grey you're looking at. I commented weakly on how well our project had turned out, how hard we had worked on it.
Looking at the project, I thought fondly of Mohawk, the brown stripe down his back, the little spot on his face. I felt the clammy way his skin was when you kissed his back .
Ms. Ven looked up at Grey at I, "Your turn to present Miss Hayes and Mr. Fortin."
Monday, October 1, 2007
Chapter Twenty One
I ran a finger along Mohawk's back, cooed and smiled before placing him back in his page. Grey looked up from the project and asked me how the family counseling went.
"Horrible thank you."
"Will it get better?"
"Yes, I think it will." I closed the frog's cage and smiled at Grey. He smiled back, one of those soft, warm smiles. I felt the blood rising to my cheeks and turned away, confused. I gingerly ran a finger along the side of my face. I couldn't honestly like a boy, like like him.
He stood up, putting away a pair of scissors as he did so. I pushed away any romantic feelings I had and walked him down the steps and out the door. The sun had set went I waved goodbye.
I went back upstairs, said goodnight to my mother and brushed my teeth. My father was still at work.
I snuggled, smiling, comfortable, into the thick duvet. The warm swallowed me, and I let myself fall into the bed, into the lure of the blankets, the Closing my eyes, the cozy moment of climbing into bed overwhelmed me. Smiling to myself, I tried to push away the thought of Grey's smile. I couldn't.
I went to sleep that night thinking about a boy different from the one I had spent many years dreaming about.
"Horrible thank you."
"Will it get better?"
"Yes, I think it will." I closed the frog's cage and smiled at Grey. He smiled back, one of those soft, warm smiles. I felt the blood rising to my cheeks and turned away, confused. I gingerly ran a finger along the side of my face. I couldn't honestly like a boy, like like him.
He stood up, putting away a pair of scissors as he did so. I pushed away any romantic feelings I had and walked him down the steps and out the door. The sun had set went I waved goodbye.
I went back upstairs, said goodnight to my mother and brushed my teeth. My father was still at work.
I snuggled, smiling, comfortable, into the thick duvet. The warm swallowed me, and I let myself fall into the bed, into the lure of the blankets, the Closing my eyes, the cozy moment of climbing into bed overwhelmed me. Smiling to myself, I tried to push away the thought of Grey's smile. I couldn't.
I went to sleep that night thinking about a boy different from the one I had spent many years dreaming about.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Chapter Twenty
I was still fuming Sunday morning. I banged a plate of toast down on the table, being careful to side at the opposite end of the table as my mother. I chewed the toast viciously, titanic bites that bulged at the side of my cheeks. My mother quietly asked me to stop. I chewed harder.
I stood up to put another piece of toast in the toaster. Crumbs were scattered about my shirt, my mouth speared with jelly. My mother pursed her lips, watching the dreaded crumbs fall onto her spotless tile floor. It made me wince chewing like that, I hate messy eaters, but I pulled it off, and my mother was, though she didn't show it, thoroughly disgusted.
Slipping out of the shower, I pulled on a sweater and a pair of jeans. The doorbell rang. I ran a brush through my hair as I dashed to get it.
"Oh. Hi." Grey stood in the doorframe, his strong, slender build perched on the top step.
"I was going to run down to the supermarket at the end of the road, my mum needs some baking soda. Do you wanta come?"
I smiled, yelled over my shoulder at my mum, and, without waiting for her answer, Grey and I set off.
"So what's up this weekend?"
"Not much. I have some junk to do on Monday, but other than that just boreing old week."
"What kind of junk?"
"Oh, this family counseling. My mother wants us to go."
"That sounds intresting." I glanced up at him.
"It sounds like crap." He questioned me as to why. He was getting on my nerves again. I hated it when people asked me how I felt. I glanced at his grey eyes.
"Because," I say, "my family is annoying. I haven't seen my dad home from work for more than two hours since," I paused. I didn't tell him the bit about running away from the last appointment I had with Blair, "a while. My mother is too prim and proper to admit that she has a problem. My dad doesn't care."
"Why don't you go?"
"I'll just blow it off. We should go out with Emily and them Monday night."
"No." I looked at him, surpised. Grey continued, "You should go. Really. Just try, you know, to work through this stuff."
I didn't say anything. He did. "Please. Just this once. I know that familes suck, my parents divorced when I was ten, and when my mother remarried I thought that I'd hate my stepdad." I didn't know this piece of infomation, we rarely talked about familes, I avoided it. He smiled and me. "But now, he's one of the best guys I know."
"Please just go. Just this once."
I stood up to put another piece of toast in the toaster. Crumbs were scattered about my shirt, my mouth speared with jelly. My mother pursed her lips, watching the dreaded crumbs fall onto her spotless tile floor. It made me wince chewing like that, I hate messy eaters, but I pulled it off, and my mother was, though she didn't show it, thoroughly disgusted.
Slipping out of the shower, I pulled on a sweater and a pair of jeans. The doorbell rang. I ran a brush through my hair as I dashed to get it.
"Oh. Hi." Grey stood in the doorframe, his strong, slender build perched on the top step.
"I was going to run down to the supermarket at the end of the road, my mum needs some baking soda. Do you wanta come?"
I smiled, yelled over my shoulder at my mum, and, without waiting for her answer, Grey and I set off.
"So what's up this weekend?"
"Not much. I have some junk to do on Monday, but other than that just boreing old week."
"What kind of junk?"
"Oh, this family counseling. My mother wants us to go."
"That sounds intresting." I glanced up at him.
"It sounds like crap." He questioned me as to why. He was getting on my nerves again. I hated it when people asked me how I felt. I glanced at his grey eyes.
"Because," I say, "my family is annoying. I haven't seen my dad home from work for more than two hours since," I paused. I didn't tell him the bit about running away from the last appointment I had with Blair, "a while. My mother is too prim and proper to admit that she has a problem. My dad doesn't care."
"Why don't you go?"
"I'll just blow it off. We should go out with Emily and them Monday night."
"No." I looked at him, surpised. Grey continued, "You should go. Really. Just try, you know, to work through this stuff."
I didn't say anything. He did. "Please. Just this once. I know that familes suck, my parents divorced when I was ten, and when my mother remarried I thought that I'd hate my stepdad." I didn't know this piece of infomation, we rarely talked about familes, I avoided it. He smiled and me. "But now, he's one of the best guys I know."
"Please just go. Just this once."
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Chapter Nineteen
I sifted my peas around my plate with my fork. Dad stuffed the mashed potatoes hungrily into his mouth, while Mum delicately placeed a pea in her mouth.
"We had a call from one of your teachers this afternoon," Dad started.
"Oh really? Which one?" I knew perfectly well the who what where of this situation, but caring was a different matter.
"Mrs. V something."
"Yep."
"Alice."
"Mm?" I ignored the warning in his voice.
"Your teacher says that you are falling behind. She's had your study periods changed so that you'll be with her. We also talked to your guidance counselor. He thinks that you should drop art until you can pick up your English grade."
"Okay. My art teacher has issues anyway."
"What kind of issues?"
"My guidance counselor encouraged you to talk to me about this didn't he?"
My father ignored me, proving my point. "What kind of issues?"
"Stuff." He encourages me to explain. I don't.
"Alice, your guidance counselor Mr. Blatt also recommends that we take you back to Blair, the psychiatrist. We have an appointment Monday."
"We?"
"Yes," my mother picked up from here, "Family counseling."
"We had a call from one of your teachers this afternoon," Dad started.
"Oh really? Which one?" I knew perfectly well the who what where of this situation, but caring was a different matter.
"Mrs. V something."
"Yep."
"Alice."
"Mm?" I ignored the warning in his voice.
"Your teacher says that you are falling behind. She's had your study periods changed so that you'll be with her. We also talked to your guidance counselor. He thinks that you should drop art until you can pick up your English grade."
"Okay. My art teacher has issues anyway."
"What kind of issues?"
"My guidance counselor encouraged you to talk to me about this didn't he?"
My father ignored me, proving my point. "What kind of issues?"
"Stuff." He encourages me to explain. I don't.
"Alice, your guidance counselor Mr. Blatt also recommends that we take you back to Blair, the psychiatrist. We have an appointment Monday."
"We?"
"Yes," my mother picked up from here, "Family counseling."
Chapter Eighteen
Grey gently places the frog back into his tank. "We really should name the little thing you know. It's been about a month."
"Yeah you're right." I handled the bag of insects carefully, made sure that the opening was fully in the tank. I slid the cover shut as far as I could. The crickets fell into the frog's home as I shook the clear plastic bag. The lid firmly shut, I trashed the waste from that day's tank cleaning.
"It's sort of pointless to call him Hoppy with a broken leg isn't it?" I squirted Purell onto my hands.
"Haha yeah. How about Kermit?" Grey suggested.
"Jefferson?"
"George Bush?" I laugh.
"Mohawk. You know, 'cause of that stripe down his back."
Grey smiled and agreed. We both paused and looked at the little fellow. He was a faint brown, small splashes of darker brown floating about on his body. His little leg, wrapped in a baby splint, looked awkard and out of place. A deep expresso stripe ran down his back.
"Oh shoot. I've got to get home." Grey checked his watch. I nod, waved him off when we reached the front door.
Going back to my room, I picked up the little brown frog. "Hey sweetie. Do you like your new name?" Mohawk didn't answer. He squirmed slightly, but soon stopped. I stroked his back gently, moved him closer to my face. Smiling, I touched my lips gently on his back. "You're a cute little frog aren't you?" I smiled at him as I drew my head away. I placed Mohawk delicatly back in his cage and went downstairs to finish up my homework.
"Yeah you're right." I handled the bag of insects carefully, made sure that the opening was fully in the tank. I slid the cover shut as far as I could. The crickets fell into the frog's home as I shook the clear plastic bag. The lid firmly shut, I trashed the waste from that day's tank cleaning.
"It's sort of pointless to call him Hoppy with a broken leg isn't it?" I squirted Purell onto my hands.
"Haha yeah. How about Kermit?" Grey suggested.
"Jefferson?"
"George Bush?" I laugh.
"Mohawk. You know, 'cause of that stripe down his back."
Grey smiled and agreed. We both paused and looked at the little fellow. He was a faint brown, small splashes of darker brown floating about on his body. His little leg, wrapped in a baby splint, looked awkard and out of place. A deep expresso stripe ran down his back.
"Oh shoot. I've got to get home." Grey checked his watch. I nod, waved him off when we reached the front door.
Going back to my room, I picked up the little brown frog. "Hey sweetie. Do you like your new name?" Mohawk didn't answer. He squirmed slightly, but soon stopped. I stroked his back gently, moved him closer to my face. Smiling, I touched my lips gently on his back. "You're a cute little frog aren't you?" I smiled at him as I drew my head away. I placed Mohawk delicatly back in his cage and went downstairs to finish up my homework.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Chapter Twenty Four
"Would you bring me the sewing box in my cuboard please?" Mum asked from her sewing chair in the living room. I agreed and slipped into her closet. It was a small closet, long, but wide enough just for her outfits to hang without brushing the door. I brushed past proper buisness suits, colourless flower prints. I stubbed my toe on something, gave a little yelp. Bending down, I picked up the sewing box. It was a dark wood, with a quilted pattern on the front. As I turned to leave, my hand ran against a silky texture.
The dress was far too small to fit my mother now, it was a teenager's dress. A cascade of deep red silk flowed to the floor. The top was bunched together, two beaded straps hung down over the dress, earthy brown beads and small shimmering silver ones that would grace the wearer's shoulders.
"Alice!" I snapped out of my thoughts as my mother's voice pierced the quiet. I dashed down the steps, handed her the sewing box at the bottom.
"Mum?" She looked up from the repair she was doing to a pair of black pants. "Whos dress is that in your closet? The red one?"
She smiled ruefully. "It was my prom dress." I smiled back and rushed upstairs, thoughts of my mother, young, smiling, free of this burden, this pressure that holds her shoulders tense, the red silk flowing down her legs, a handsome young man at her side.
Before I know it the dress is gently resting in my arms, and I am carrying it carefully up to my room on the third floor. I pull off my jeans and t-shirt, undo a zip at the side of the gown. I hadn't brushed my hair for a few hours, it hung loose and slightly puffed around my shoulders. I stepped delicately into the dress, easing it around my body. I thought quietly of Jimmy, a teenager, wearing a tux, greeting his girl.
I straightened, maneuvered my arms into the beaded strap. My chest didn't quite fill out the front, but there was a gentle curve around my hips that the fabric subtly accented. The silk didn't shimmer, but it glowed where the light hit it. My body slowly roatatin, my thoughts wandered to Grey. I thoughtof his hair, his hands, his deep green eyes that looked straight into places I didn't know existed.
It came like the fire that flares as a match is lit, I love him, I love him, and he is, and I am, and I want us to be together, I want feel those stong arms around me. Those gentle lips pressed against mine, and my body is aching, aching with this thing I didn't know exsisted.
I hugged myself. I wistfully slipped off the dress, touched the fabric lightly, changed back into my clothes. I wondered if Jimmy would have ever felt this way about a girl. And I realized, I understood, that Jimmy may or may not have felt like this if he were here, yet even though he isn't, I feel this way about Grey, and I love him, and I love him, and I love him.
The dress was far too small to fit my mother now, it was a teenager's dress. A cascade of deep red silk flowed to the floor. The top was bunched together, two beaded straps hung down over the dress, earthy brown beads and small shimmering silver ones that would grace the wearer's shoulders.
"Alice!" I snapped out of my thoughts as my mother's voice pierced the quiet. I dashed down the steps, handed her the sewing box at the bottom.
"Mum?" She looked up from the repair she was doing to a pair of black pants. "Whos dress is that in your closet? The red one?"
She smiled ruefully. "It was my prom dress." I smiled back and rushed upstairs, thoughts of my mother, young, smiling, free of this burden, this pressure that holds her shoulders tense, the red silk flowing down her legs, a handsome young man at her side.
Before I know it the dress is gently resting in my arms, and I am carrying it carefully up to my room on the third floor. I pull off my jeans and t-shirt, undo a zip at the side of the gown. I hadn't brushed my hair for a few hours, it hung loose and slightly puffed around my shoulders. I stepped delicately into the dress, easing it around my body. I thought quietly of Jimmy, a teenager, wearing a tux, greeting his girl.
I straightened, maneuvered my arms into the beaded strap. My chest didn't quite fill out the front, but there was a gentle curve around my hips that the fabric subtly accented. The silk didn't shimmer, but it glowed where the light hit it. My body slowly roatatin, my thoughts wandered to Grey. I thoughtof his hair, his hands, his deep green eyes that looked straight into places I didn't know existed.
It came like the fire that flares as a match is lit, I love him, I love him, and he is, and I am, and I want us to be together, I want feel those stong arms around me. Those gentle lips pressed against mine, and my body is aching, aching with this thing I didn't know exsisted.
I hugged myself. I wistfully slipped off the dress, touched the fabric lightly, changed back into my clothes. I wondered if Jimmy would have ever felt this way about a girl. And I realized, I understood, that Jimmy may or may not have felt like this if he were here, yet even though he isn't, I feel this way about Grey, and I love him, and I love him, and I love him.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Chapter Seventeen
I racked through the jeans, looking for a medium. Small, extra small, large. No medium. I sighed.
"He likes you." I jumped. Emily smiled at me, rows of straight teeth sparkling between cherry red lips. Her curly black hair fell in ringlets around her shoulders. "What?"
"Grey. He likes you."
"No, he doesn't."
She snorted. "Yes he does. Look at the way he flirts with you!"
"We're friends. We're partners in the science fair together." I thought of the little frog, wondered if he was okay. The little guy was doing better, his splint would come off next week. He still wasn't ready to go out into the wild, but he was on the mend.
Emily interrupted my thoughts, "He's so been flirting with you. Have you ever had a boyfriend?"
"Yes. He was a jerk."
"They often are." We sniggered. I gave up the search for jeans. We left Macy's, huddled in a group, chatting, giggling. I had never felt such a part of anything, never been the one to smile stupidly or laugh at a pointless joke.
But it was a Yo Mamma joke that set it off. My thoughts rushed to my own 'mamma,' her shoulders, her super clean life. Then it was Jimmy, it was Jimmy, and I was laughing, and Jimmy wasn't, Jimmy was gone, and I shouldn't laugh, I couldn't smile. Jimmy wasn't, and I was, and why should I have fun when it was my fault, all my fault.
They continued laughing. I slipped off into the restroom. The door bolted, I slid down into the corner, my black hair sweeping over my shoulders, obscuring my view.
"Where's you brother?" She has on a light, flowy dress, patterned in magenta flowers. I don't know, I tell her. I think back to the morning, it was a rush, I don't quite remember. Fifteen minutes tick by. My father offers to go ask one of the teachers, I see his back as he heads toward the school. A thought trickles into my head.
"Mum! Mum, I forgot to tell him. We were rushing to school, and I forgot to tell him that we were being picked up. He's on the bus." Mum smiles, a worried smile, and tells me to run after my father. I do. I crash into his tall legs. He turns around, a loose, strong face trimmed with a goatee. He looks down at me as I explain and he pulls my hand as we turn to jog to my mother. My lunchbag whacks the side of my knee with each stride.
They whisper quietly as I tease a loose thread in my shirt. Daddy runs back into the building, he is quick.
"No," he says when he comes back. Creases of worry line my mother's face. The thread is now all the way out, I put it in my mouth and chew. "His bus left twenty minutes ago."
"He likes you." I jumped. Emily smiled at me, rows of straight teeth sparkling between cherry red lips. Her curly black hair fell in ringlets around her shoulders. "What?"
"Grey. He likes you."
"No, he doesn't."
She snorted. "Yes he does. Look at the way he flirts with you!"
"We're friends. We're partners in the science fair together." I thought of the little frog, wondered if he was okay. The little guy was doing better, his splint would come off next week. He still wasn't ready to go out into the wild, but he was on the mend.
Emily interrupted my thoughts, "He's so been flirting with you. Have you ever had a boyfriend?"
"Yes. He was a jerk."
"They often are." We sniggered. I gave up the search for jeans. We left Macy's, huddled in a group, chatting, giggling. I had never felt such a part of anything, never been the one to smile stupidly or laugh at a pointless joke.
But it was a Yo Mamma joke that set it off. My thoughts rushed to my own 'mamma,' her shoulders, her super clean life. Then it was Jimmy, it was Jimmy, and I was laughing, and Jimmy wasn't, Jimmy was gone, and I shouldn't laugh, I couldn't smile. Jimmy wasn't, and I was, and why should I have fun when it was my fault, all my fault.
They continued laughing. I slipped off into the restroom. The door bolted, I slid down into the corner, my black hair sweeping over my shoulders, obscuring my view.
"Where's you brother?" She has on a light, flowy dress, patterned in magenta flowers. I don't know, I tell her. I think back to the morning, it was a rush, I don't quite remember. Fifteen minutes tick by. My father offers to go ask one of the teachers, I see his back as he heads toward the school. A thought trickles into my head.
"Mum! Mum, I forgot to tell him. We were rushing to school, and I forgot to tell him that we were being picked up. He's on the bus." Mum smiles, a worried smile, and tells me to run after my father. I do. I crash into his tall legs. He turns around, a loose, strong face trimmed with a goatee. He looks down at me as I explain and he pulls my hand as we turn to jog to my mother. My lunchbag whacks the side of my knee with each stride.
They whisper quietly as I tease a loose thread in my shirt. Daddy runs back into the building, he is quick.
"No," he says when he comes back. Creases of worry line my mother's face. The thread is now all the way out, I put it in my mouth and chew. "His bus left twenty minutes ago."
Chapter Sixteen
Rod, Max, Sammy, Emily, Grey and I sat down at a table, our trays heaped with a variety of junk food. I nibbled quietly at a slice of pizza. They discussed what shop to go to next. I kept a distance from the conversation. "Alice, where would you like to go?"Rod questioned.
"Nowhere."
He looked taken back, but returned to the conversation. Grey kept glancing over at me, made eye contact quickly then looked away. It was annoying. The group ditched their trays and headed, laughing, to the next shop. I slowly put my trash in the bin. Grey stopped to tie his shoelace again. This was annoying me. His shoelace didn't even need tying.
I walked ahead. The group had already gone on, the boys telling dumb jokes, the girls giggling just as stupidly. Grey caught up to me. "Smile."
"What?" I shook my head, questioning this demand.
"Smile." My lips curled up slightly, but my eyebrows furrowed at him with a look that said, "This is stupid."
"That's not a smile."
"Okay?"
I glanced at his tall frame. Then suddenly, his hands were around my waist, and I was in the air, upside down, my hair hanging loose and waving gently against the floor. I didn't notice the quizzical stares that took in a tall boy holding a shrieking girl upside down. "PUT ME DOWN! GREY!"
Ahead of us, the group turned around. "Grey!" Emily giggled, "What are you doing? Put the poor thing down." He smiled. Grey put a hand under my back, cradled me for a quick second. Had I been madly in love with him, I would have kissed him, right there, nesting in his strong arms. However, I was not madly in love. And anyway, I wasn't nesting in arms. In fact, I was shrieking. He let go of my legs, set me gently on the floor.
"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" I was on him instantly. The group had already headed toward the next shop.
He grinned, "I sure turned that frown upside down didn't I?" I couldn't help it. My lips slowly formed a smile, and before I knew it, for the first time in five years, I was laughing. Laughing because something was funny, laughing because laughter felt right.
"Nowhere."
He looked taken back, but returned to the conversation. Grey kept glancing over at me, made eye contact quickly then looked away. It was annoying. The group ditched their trays and headed, laughing, to the next shop. I slowly put my trash in the bin. Grey stopped to tie his shoelace again. This was annoying me. His shoelace didn't even need tying.
I walked ahead. The group had already gone on, the boys telling dumb jokes, the girls giggling just as stupidly. Grey caught up to me. "Smile."
"What?" I shook my head, questioning this demand.
"Smile." My lips curled up slightly, but my eyebrows furrowed at him with a look that said, "This is stupid."
"That's not a smile."
"Okay?"
I glanced at his tall frame. Then suddenly, his hands were around my waist, and I was in the air, upside down, my hair hanging loose and waving gently against the floor. I didn't notice the quizzical stares that took in a tall boy holding a shrieking girl upside down. "PUT ME DOWN! GREY!"
Ahead of us, the group turned around. "Grey!" Emily giggled, "What are you doing? Put the poor thing down." He smiled. Grey put a hand under my back, cradled me for a quick second. Had I been madly in love with him, I would have kissed him, right there, nesting in his strong arms. However, I was not madly in love. And anyway, I wasn't nesting in arms. In fact, I was shrieking. He let go of my legs, set me gently on the floor.
"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" I was on him instantly. The group had already headed toward the next shop.
He grinned, "I sure turned that frown upside down didn't I?" I couldn't help it. My lips slowly formed a smile, and before I knew it, for the first time in five years, I was laughing. Laughing because something was funny, laughing because laughter felt right.
Chapter Fifteen
The phone rang, once, twice. "Would you get it?" Mum yells from downstairs. I didn't reply, continued to stare at the ceiling. She sighs and answers, "Hayes' residence." She can't just say hello? She calls up, "Alice, it's for you!"
Groaning quietly, I pulled myself up and trudged to the phone. "Hellooo?"
"Alice?" I was too bored and tired and sick to figure out who this was.
"No. It's her twin sister." Silence on the other end. "Yes it's Alice. Who is this?"
"Oh. It's Grey. Some of us from school are going to the mall. Do you want to come?" No I don't want to come. I don't like shopping. I'm depressed. I don't like people today. Go away. Anyway, who do you know from school? You just moved here. No, I'm not going.
"Yeah I'll go, what time?"
Groaning quietly, I pulled myself up and trudged to the phone. "Hellooo?"
"Alice?" I was too bored and tired and sick to figure out who this was.
"No. It's her twin sister." Silence on the other end. "Yes it's Alice. Who is this?"
"Oh. It's Grey. Some of us from school are going to the mall. Do you want to come?" No I don't want to come. I don't like shopping. I'm depressed. I don't like people today. Go away. Anyway, who do you know from school? You just moved here. No, I'm not going.
"Yeah I'll go, what time?"
~~~
A few minutes later I hung up the phone, explained to my mother, who was scrubbing the pipes under the bathroom sink. "They're ugly when they're dirty," she explained when I asked. I washed my face in the other bathroom, changed out of my pajamas and slipped into my pocket a small rock, smooth, black.
I answered the doorbell, shoving flip flops onto my feet as I did so. Grey smiled, that childish yet mature grin. I yell bye and head out the door.
Halfway up the driveway, Grey bent down to tie his shoelace, I continued toward a crowded mini van. "Alice?"
I stopped and turned, but kept my mouth shut. He however, did not. "What's up?" I raised an eyebrow, asked him, "Nothing, you?"
"No, I mean, what's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing." I continued to the car, puzzled. How does he know I'm tired, angry, depressed, fed up, hateful and so not in the mood to get out of bed today? He stood up and ran to catch up to me. As we climbed into the car, and he whispered in my ear, "I'm a good listener." I turned away and greeted the mess of teenagers wedged into the van.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Chapter Fourteen
I gently scooped the little frog into my hand, an eyedropper cocked in one hand. Grey held the camera out, zoomed in. He smiled the way that someone smiles when they take a picture, the way he'd smile if the picture was of him. The camera clicked. I pushed the eyedropper into the frog's mouth, hand feeding him as I'd been doing since he'd come home. His cage was small, to restrict movement so that his little leg would heal.
I put the frog back in his cage, and moved towards Grey, leaned over his shoulder. The picture was just one of my hands and the frog, nothing big. He had a red shirt on, a Product Red. I leaned over his shoulder studying the picture, and as I was there, a foot away, his smell drifted toward me. It was sharp yet gentle. It smelled good. I backed away from him, pretended I was finished looking at the photo. Grey was a boy, I was a girl. But to me, that didn't mean a thing.
I put the frog back in his cage, and moved towards Grey, leaned over his shoulder. The picture was just one of my hands and the frog, nothing big. He had a red shirt on, a Product Red. I leaned over his shoulder studying the picture, and as I was there, a foot away, his smell drifted toward me. It was sharp yet gentle. It smelled good. I backed away from him, pretended I was finished looking at the photo. Grey was a boy, I was a girl. But to me, that didn't mean a thing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
